well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
