I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
