is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
