Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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