my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
