so explain again why im purple
no
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
