physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
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