I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize