I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She announced her abortion via fbk
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
