So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
