U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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