That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize