Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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