i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i out mim tonsoeep
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
