Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
