she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize