hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
