so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
