I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
