I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
do nipples grow back?
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