if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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