You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
