i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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