Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
