Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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