If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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