Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
