i can't believe i had my finger in that
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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