I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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