I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
