Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
