Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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