I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize