so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
