remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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