Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
