omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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