I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
