All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
should my penis look like a turkey
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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