So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
