i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
