Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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