So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
