So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
