These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
do herpes really smell.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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