I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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