i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
