too bad you live with your parents still
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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