No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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