i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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