question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
