No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
