Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
