I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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