I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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