Pappa wants mamma naked
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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