Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
