Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
