We're facebook friends in real life
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
